“We come to love not by finding a perfect person but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” - Sam Keen
I found the above quote not in Sam Keen’s To Love and Be Loved, but in Arvid Sharma’s Gandhi: A Spiritual Biography, in a passage talking about Gandhi’s views on the “inextricably bound” relationship between love and suffering. The quote got me thinking about the most obvious connection first – my marriage. But later on, I began thinking about how I could love myself more deeply, and learn to forgive my own misgivings and imperfections.
Sometimes stereotypes are born in truth, and there is no doubt I am a “sensitive artist.” In the past I’ve wondered, how can I be confident enough to put a blog post into the universe, and still contain so much self-loathing? But Gandhi’s perspective on love helps me understand what at first looks like a contradiction. With love, beauty, and creation, comes attachment, which inherently leads to suffering. As an artist, I want nothing more than to delight you, surprise you, and intrigue your mind. But my desire is not wholly selfless. I want to give you a gift, but I also want you, need you, to like it. My ego is like the worst of American consumers; it feeds on your clicks, your interest.
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